Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Monthly Archives: May 2012

Pointless Achievements: Party’s Over

This is a fitting name for this achievement.
Because any kind of fun is long over if you’re doing it.

I had originally planed to talk about the Kingpin achievement from Saint’s Row 2 today, but wouldn’t you know it, I just got a brand new fresh shipment of crushing disappointment yesterday that I’d like to bitch about instead.

Yesterday the (hopefully) final DLC Expansion for Batman: Arkham City was released, Harley Quinn’s Revenge. Unlike the last two “expansions”, which were just extra characters for the challenge maps that cost seven bucks each, Harley Quinn’s Revenge is supposed to be a continuation of the story. An actual adventure and not just an addition to the arcade style score attack gameplay the challenge rooms provide.

You’d think for a ten dollar add-on they’d have a couple of new and interesting tricks to show you for your money. Plus it was released seven months after the last expansion. So you’d think this might actually be something good, since they’ve been working on it so long. And it continues the story of Arkham City? That could be interesting.

But no, it’s just more of the same old crap. Beat up bad guys, go here, beat up guys, go here, The End. It’s like they needed one last add-on to justify selling a “Game of the Year” edition, which wouldn’t you know, they announced at the same time as this expansion. Nothing makes it more clear that this add-on was just made for financial reasons quite like the “Party’s Over” achievement.

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No More Sanity: How No More Heroes Deconstructs Modern Games

Anyone got any ideas what it means? Because if not I’ve got a couple of hundred you can use.


…starts over. Wait, what was I saying?

Let me think. I know I said a while back that it is apparently indie month here at 0verhyped, as in I would be mostly talking about indie games in my N0t Hyped posts. I don’t think the very few people who were around to read that comment actually care or not if I actually keep talking about indie games for the rest of May.

But I’m a man of my word, I think. And since it’s still May (I think,) I want to talk about my favorite indie game and favorite game in general, No More Heroes. Originally I was going to do a typical N0t Hyped review, but I realized that in trying to be impartial I couldn’t fully explain why No More Heroes was my favorite game. Truth be told, its gameplay is pretty mediocre outside of the boss fights, and the story elements are the kind of things only obsessive lunatics would really enjoy studying.

Seeing as I am an obsessive lunatic though, I love No More Heroes and have finished it over half a dozen times. Instead of just writing an impartial no spoilers review where the bottom line would say “Your enjoyment of No More Heroes depends almost entirely on how much you like its surreal sense of style and bizarre meta story”, I’m going to sit down and explain why I love No More Heroes insane storytelling, and more importantly how a lot of these crazy moments in No More Heroes are actually ordinary parts of several games you may have already played.

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N0t Hyped: Bit.Trip Beat (Wii, iOS, PC, Mac)

If this looks difficult, it’s because IT IS!


I was going to talk about how No More Heroes is a satire on everything that is modern games and gamers, but I’m too tired to write a long analysis today. So I’ll just write a clumsy review about another indie game I like that I’m less inclined to analyze (even though it too has story elements open to interpretation).

So yeah, here’s to the fact it’s Friday and I desperately want to go home and sleep all memorial day weekend.

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Pointless Achievements: The Bladder of Steel Award

Need to use the bathroom? Or just want to take a break?
Well too fucking bad! Because you’re not going anywhere!

What is it with me and the Rock Band series? I don’t think there’s even been a game series that I both genuinely love and utterly despise more at the same time. Part of it is I’m just an ill-tempered idiot with obsessive compulsive tendencies and poor self-control. But I still can’t help think that Harmonix are just kinda sadistic assholes as well.

It seems like every Rock Band game comes with a shitload of a dumb arbitrary goals that require mechanical like precision on cheap plastic instruments. The first Rock Band had a terrible drum controller, but they still expected you to fairly accurately duplicate intense drum beats like Run to the Hills. I remember there being a lot of posts about how to jury rig the drums to stop counting extra notes you didn’t hit and how to make the pedal stronger.

It’s pretty fucked up they put goals into the game that the crappy fake instruments they sell you can just barely handle. I know they’re just one company trying to make a buck, so they can’t really afford to make exceptional midi instruments and still sell us to them at a reasonable price. But they surely could have eased the fuck up on some of their actual goals they stick in the game. It’s a fucking game where you pretend you’re Rock Stars in front of your TV with plastic instruments and a USB microphone. Why such brutal achievements?

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Today’s Splendor is Tomorrow’s Nostalgia

Forty amazing hits by the original artists all for $19.99!


Why can’t I just think every game released is super great like most gamers do? As I said before, I’m not going out of my way to dislike or find fault with most of the big games that come out. I only play them because I thought I would enjoy them. I never go into a game thinking “This is going to suck, and I’m going to prove it to people by playing it until I can prattle off an entire list of reasons it sucks.” I just want to be entertained. If I play a game I suspect I won’t like, I much rather be proven wrong and be pleasantly surprised, because being right means I’ll be playing something I find boring.

But, with some exceptions, I don’t enjoy most acclaimed games like most gamers seem to claim they do. I don’t think this is because I’m older and less interested in games, because even when I was younger and still into games I often found myself surprised to hear certain games I thought were only okay were actually critically lauded masterpieces. Is there something wrong with me? Well yeah, my psychologist and chiropractor could both tell you that, but I don’t think it’s my various mental imbalances and back problems causing this disconnect.

My problem is I’m not part of the craze all these other kids are into. I’m just not part of their click, and I guess I’m not the only one. There’s actually an entire group of gamers out there who only play old style games, like the original Super Mario Bros. or VVVVVV, which despite being made in the 21st century was modeled after Commodore 64 games. Typically these people just call themselves Retro Gamers. I’m not really a part of their click either though.

But I find it odd when retro gamers are accused of only liking old games because of the “nostalgia filter”, which basically means a bias towards things you liked when you were young. The hilariously ironic thing is a lot of the people making this accusation don’t realize the games they love right now will be the same ones future generations will accuse of being seen through a nostalgia filter.

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Braid, Life, Obsession, and the Dark Side of Ambition

.odnu reven dluoc eh gnihtemos enod dah eh dezilaer eh ynori taerg htiw dnA


So it’s Friday, that means the end of Braid week. An event no one knew was coming, and, appropriately, no one showed up for…

Yeah, can’t wait to write my really long post about what I think the symbols and themes in Braid represent just for absolutely no one to read them. Or if there is anyone, they’ll get bored after the first paragraph and just leave…

Uh, you know what? Braid means Ice Cream. The End.

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Pointless Achievements: Speed Run

.nees reve sah nam on sgniht nees dah eh slairt suoutrot hguorhT
.neesnu niamer syawla dluohs hcihw taht era sthgis eseht taht erawanU

So continuing my discussion on Braid, let’s talk about the single most fucking annoying achievement in the game. The not at all creatively named Speed Run. Once you beat Braid you have an option to try certain segments with a timer in an attempt to speed run them. And the one segment you need to beat for this achievement is THE ENTIRE FUCKING GAME!

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N0t Hyped: Braid (PC, Mac, 360, PS3)

.tegrof reven dlouc dlrow eht lla taht ginthemos dehsaelnu eh ,elbissopmi eht fo tiusrup sih ni tub ,snoitca tsap nwo sih esare dlouc eH


Hey, it’s Braid week? Sure, why not. I totally want to talk about this game all week, and I’m not just doing this because it’s easier for me to talk about the same thing three times in a row. Anyways, Braid is an indie puzzle game that was released on the XBOX 360 in 2008 and ported to a bunch of other places the year after. I’ve got a lot to say about Braid this week, so it seems appropriate to start with just a simple review.

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N0t Hyped: World of Goo (PC, Mac, iOS, Wii)

Come on, just a little more and we’ll hit the ionosphere!


Since I plan on talking about Braid all next week I guess I’ll just declare May indie month here at 0verhyped. Why the hell not? Nobody is reading this anyways. I could declare it aglet appreciation month and just repeatedly write about the North America Free Trade agreement, who the fuck would be here to notice the difference?

Anyways, World of Goo is a personal favorite game of mine. I just recently beat it again and it still managed to surprise me, partially because I was playing a new version and they added a few small things. But that aside, it is impressive how much is crammed into every little level of World of Goo.

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Pointless Achievements: Kayak Master

What’s that? You find Fishing Resort way too calm and relaxing?
Well then, just try a kayak race and watch your blood pressure soar!

In case you hadn’t heard, Fishing Resort is possibly the greatest fishing game ever made, and just a good game in general. It can also be really relaxing at times. What with scenic surroundings and the mellow vibe it gives off. I even thought of holding a contest to give away a copy of Fishing Resort. Then I remembered almost nobody visits this site.

But even with its laid back gameplay, Fishing Resort isn’t above tedious goals with only a razor thin margin of error, nor am I above pursuing such pointless goals even though I really really should know better by this point.

Fishing Resort has achievements, or accomplishments, or whatever the hell you want to call them. All though a lot of them are a pain in the ass, they usually have something to do with fishing. Not the case with Kayak Master, which takes what should have been a simple diversion and turns it into a tortuous ordeal.

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