0verhyped

Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Category Archives: 0ff-Topic

Observed Weirdness of a Weblog 2: Electric Boogaloo

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Batten down the hatches! Giant spam waves off the starboard bough!

A.K.A. A RETREAD OF A FLUFF PIECE TO TIDE PEOPLE OVER UNTIL I GET BACK FROM BREAK

Hey, remember when I made a post called “Observed Weirdness of a Weblog”? No? Well, there! Now you know! And since I’m in desperate need for some me time, I figured doing another post on this subject would be a lazy good way to say goodbye while I take some time off from writing nonsense about video games that about eight people seem to read. So enjoy pretty much the exact same thing I did before with the words slightly rearranged. Because I’m too burnt out to do much else right now.

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Observed Weirdness of a Weblog

These people aren’t even trying…

 

A.K.A. A FLUFF PIECE WHIPPED UP TO EXPLAIN WHY I’M ON VACATION FROM THIS PLACE

Real quick for anyone who cares, I’ll be taking what will probably be a very long break from writing for 0verhyped. Things are getting busier at where I work and I’m feeling very burnt out again, so I probably won’t be writing anything new in the immediate future, and if this post is at the top of my home page, it means I’m still on break at the time you are reading this.

But instead of just writing a goodbye post I figured I’d do something a little different and write about some of the weirder stuff I’ve noticed running my measly little website here at WordPress. If you’ve got a WordPress blog of your own maybe you’ve already noticed similar things, but either way I feel like sharing some of the odder observations I’ve noticed looking at all the stats WordPress monitors.

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Dissecting Prometheus (And Why It Sucks Balls)

This image contains about as much meaningful content as the rest of the film. Which is to say, none at all.

A.K.A. HOW HARD IS IT TO ACTUALLY WRITE A DECENT STORY?

So last week I saw the new Ridley Scott movie, Prometheus. A sorta prequel to the Alien franchise that Scott started so long ago. It had really good special effects, some great performances and excellent directing. It also has terrible hackneyed writing that raises maybe one or two good points that are later drowned out by how convoluted, nonsensical and poorly written absolutely everything else is.

The writing is so bad that I’ve done nothing but write this post for the last week complaining about it. Which is a really silly thing for me to do considering the rest of the movie wasn’t that bad and I didn’t actually even care all that much. But I love to bitch about things on the internet, and Prometheus seems ripe with shit for my to piss and moan about it.

I’m shocked to see anyone think this was an intelligent movie that raised important questions. Especially when it’s co-written by Damon Lindelof, who pulled the same “interesting concept without a conclusion or forethought so let’s just make random weird shit happen in hopes that people won’t notice that we don’t know what we’re doing” trick back when he did Lost.

The thing that annoys me most about Prometheus is the claim it’s one of those things where you’re “not suppose to know the answers”. Like having a million unanswered questions automatically makes you deep and beyond criticism, and isn’t often applied in a manner that hides how poorly written your fucking story is.

I don’t mind open ended stories that leave a lot open to interpretation. I’ve written two incredibly long analyses on two games that did exactly that and expressed how much I enjoyed trying to decipher them. But Prometheus isn’t one of those stories where my imagination is set ablaze with possibilities. It’s one of those stories where I’m constantly baffled how seemingly everything, from the existential to the mundane, makes absolutely no fucking sense and I feel my intelligence is constantly being insulted every time I’m asked to buy into this shit. Prometheus certainly raised a lot of questions for me, but not the ones I wanted raised.

Fair warning, this will be an insanely long post. Ironic as I don’t hate this movie or actually care all that much about the Alien franchise. However, Prometheus has that rare blend of genuine potential and baffling awful decisions that makes for some truly epic bitching. I’ll be bitching myself senseless so if you don’t like long winded rants, you’d best just stop reading right now.

I dedicate the following essay of me whining about a movie I didn’t like to Red Letter Media, whose review of the Star Wars prequels inspired me to complain endlessly on the internet. (And if getting upset at Prometheus means I should “stop watching movies”, then so be it.)

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The HD Con: Rumors, Misinformation, and Outright Lies

Check the top. What does it say? HIGH-DEFINITION GRAPHICS! Eat it Nintendo! Where’s the Super Nintendo’s HD graphics?

A.K.A. HOW COMPANIES USED A BUZZ WORD TO SELL CRAP YOU DIDN’T NEED

I’m not the most affable person…you jerks. I having a nasty habit for carrying grudges and wishing horrible things on other people. Ever since I saw The Phantom Menace I’ve carried an irrational distrust and resentment for expensive computer graphics. That might sound stupid to you, probably because it is.

But I’m not so stubborn that I won’t enjoy something just because it uses expensive CGI. Hell, a lot of my favorite films come from Pixar, and they make whole movies with CGI. So I don’t begrudge something so hard it blinds me to things I like. So trust me when I say “HD” is one of the biggest fucking scams pulled on consumers in recent history.

Yeah, I said scam. And I might be old and bitter, but I’m not hating something I don’t understand, I’m hating something I do understand. The more I learned about “HD” the more annoyed I got every time I heard that two letter buzzword. “HD” is just something companies decided to slap on everything they could to sell crap at a major mark-up. Higher resolutions in television sets may have been a natural evolutionary step, but it was sold as if it was a massive revolution. Most of my frustration came with the revelation that companies’ seem to bank on people’s ignorance on what “HD” really is and take advantage of the fact that most people don’t know what the hell they’re really buying. I’d like to clear up some of those misconceptions (and bitch for like five pages).

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Creativity, And How Success Can Actually Stifle It

Don’t worry, we’ll fix it in post.

A.K.A. JUST WHAT DID HAPPEN TO GEORGE LUCAS?

Well, I’ve gone and done it again. I tried to write about something involving video games, attempted to contrast it with something I felt was very relevant, and ended up writing several pages about just that other thing and completely forgot the whole game part. It’s just like that giant comic books post I made last week all over again.

It seems like without any kind of editor or anyone to answer to, I just tend to ramble off point and get caught up in my own stupid ideas, which coincidentally is kind of what I wound up writing about today. More specifically, how obstacles can motivate creative people to be more creative and removing those obstacles can actually take away their motivation. And oddly enough, overwhelming success tends to remove those obstacles faster than anything else.

It might sound like I’m just trying to justify the whole “It was cool before it was mainstream” thought process, but that’s not what I’m on about. This is really more of an observation on my part than anything, but I’ve noticed, more often than not, that the more successful and wealthy an artist tends to get, the less creative they get.

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How The Beatles: Rock Band Changed My Life

Shine on you crazy diamonds… What? I can like more than one band.

A.K.A. REALLY DISCOVERING MUSIC FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A VIDEO GAME OF ALL PLACES

With a title like that I’ve got some explaining to do. I’ve actually been wanting to write this post all week, but every post this week just seemed to be a huge rant that eventually morphs into a different rant, which I’d then use for tomorrow’s post. And in writing that, another different rant seems to crop up. Almost like some sort of cancerous growth filled with ranting that I’d have to regularly excise to prevent it from getting too big and killing me.

Just this morning, when I thought it was decided I’d write about The Beatles: Rock Band, I suddenly realized that the game company Valve is basically the George Lucas of the gaming industry. A once small and inspired independent artist who has since slowly become a fat greedy sell-out of a corporation, who milks people for all their worth, takes credit for other people’s genius and yet still have an entire legion of deluded Fanboys ready to rush to their defense. The only difference is they haven’t been selling out as long as Lucas. I could easily go on about that for several pages…

But fuck that. It’s almost the weekend, so I want to talk about something I actually really like for a change. Besides who wants to talk about Valve? Everyone (in my head) already knows their the George Lucas of the gaming industry. I want to talk about The Beatles: Rock Band, and a little bit about music in general, which I’m ashamed to admit, I didn’t really appreciate enough until I played this game. So even though this may sound crazy, The Beatles: Rock Band really did change my life…

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Tearing Comic Books Apart

He said no parking anytime!

A.K.A. TALKING OUT OF MY ASS ABOUT SOMETHING I REALLY DON’T CARE ABOUT

“What the hell is this?”, no one in particular asked.

“It’s me ranting about the mainstream comic book industry,” I answer to the odd voice in my head.

“I thought you only bitched about video games?”, asked nobody.

“I do, but for some reason I wrote all this crap about comic books,” I assure my own delusion.

“So, you’re what? A jaded ex-comic fan as well?” persists nary a soul.

“No, I’m not a sore ex-fan or a fan at all I guess. Really not all that concerned with comics one way or the other. I didn’t even have any comics growing up,” I explain to my own subconsciousness.

“Then…why’d you write all this?”

I really don’t know how to answer that. I guess one thing lead to another, and that lead to a lot more of the first thing, and somehow that lead to a ten page deconstruction of modern comic books that tends to ramble onto like four other topics. I’m thinking maybe somebody swapped my meds around. Oh well, I already wrote all this junk, might as well post it. All though I don’t think it goes anywhere. In fact, I really don’t mind if you sit this one out.

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