Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Category Archives: Reviews

N0t Hyped: Excite Truck (Wii)

Trucks that go so fast that they practically fucking fly! What’s not to love?


My last couple of weeks here have been more whiny and weird than my usual affair at this place. Picking apart different games over several posts, and talking about the most emotional I ever got playing a video game, and exploring creepy and possibly sexist undertones AND overtones in Other M. I’ve been more pitiful than normal, sad as that is.

But today I wanted to talk about something fun, specifically Excite Truck. Excite Truck was actually a launch game for the Wii and published by Nintendo, and yet not many people seem to have heard of it. It was probably just bad timing. You had things like Twilight Princess and Red Steel hogging all the mainstream attention at launch and Wii Sports monopolizing most newcomers’ time. Poor Excite Truck just had too much competition.

I didn’t buy Excite Truck at launch either, I got it much later when I found it marked way down. But honestly I wish I had gotten it at launch because it’s one of the most fun games I’ve ever played. Seriously, I love this game. It’s kinda hard to explain why, but I’m going to try anyways.

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N0t Hyped: To the Moon (PC)

Disclaimer: This game is in no way related to The Honeymooners or using colorful metaphors for the notion of beating your wife.


All though I have a preference for simple arcade style games, I don’t dislike stories in video games. I just feel unless the gameplay and story actually compliment each other, one will end up detracting from the other. That, and I am notoriously difficult to please when it comes to video games, for some reason.

But I don’t mind a good story in video game form. In fact, I actually prefer it when a “game” just skips the game part and focuses on the story when that’s the main draw. I guess cutting the “game” part out of a “video game” is a hard thing to do. It’s right there in the name, and I don’t think we’ll be getting a new term for the medium anytime soon.

Still, there’s no reason you can’t tell a good story in video game form, and I feel that’s exactly what Freebird Games has done with their title, To the Moon. It’s a very touching story about a man’s life told with a clever framing device. I found it to be a very emotional and engrossing journey. It’s not really a “game” though, but it’s definitely something special.

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My Problem With Portals

What key makes me fist your mechanical ass long enough that you understand I never want to see a loathsome sack of shit such as yourself ever again!


Back to my normal swearing bitter ass self this week, complete with me angrily pissing on other things people like because I’m old and joyless so I feel compelled to constantly explain why I’m so miserable with everything in the world.

Speaking of which, I didn’t like Portal, and I don’t like Portal 2, which I recently discovered. And the disappointing thing is I really wanted to like these games. The portal concept present in both games is ingenious, and opens itself up to a lot of brilliant possibilities.

But neither game really explores those possibilities all that much. Instead it merely flirts with them just long enough to acknowledge there are possibilities, then fills the gaps between these mere mentions of better things with the same mediocre paste used to pad out every modern game. The same paste I’ve been sick of swallowing for years.

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N0t Hyped: LocoRoco (PSP)

If you don’t like cute, you should just turn back now.


So this will be my last post while maintaining a more restrained approach to my writing while avoiding my normal cynical and angry outlook on life. So this seems like the prefect time to review LocoRoco, quite possibly the cutest, bubbliest, happiest, most saccharine game I’ve ever played. It’s so happy it’s infectious, even for bitter cynics such as myself. =)

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Dissecting Prometheus (And Why It Sucks Balls)

This image contains about as much meaningful content as the rest of the film. Which is to say, none at all.


So last week I saw the new Ridley Scott movie, Prometheus. A sorta prequel to the Alien franchise that Scott started so long ago. It had really good special effects, some great performances and excellent directing. It also has terrible hackneyed writing that raises maybe one or two good points that are later drowned out by how convoluted, nonsensical and poorly written absolutely everything else is.

The writing is so bad that I’ve done nothing but write this post for the last week complaining about it. Which is a really silly thing for me to do considering the rest of the movie wasn’t that bad and I didn’t actually even care all that much. But I love to bitch about things on the internet, and Prometheus seems ripe with shit for my to piss and moan about it.

I’m shocked to see anyone think this was an intelligent movie that raised important questions. Especially when it’s co-written by Damon Lindelof, who pulled the same “interesting concept without a conclusion or forethought so let’s just make random weird shit happen in hopes that people won’t notice that we don’t know what we’re doing” trick back when he did Lost.

The thing that annoys me most about Prometheus is the claim it’s one of those things where you’re “not suppose to know the answers”. Like having a million unanswered questions automatically makes you deep and beyond criticism, and isn’t often applied in a manner that hides how poorly written your fucking story is.

I don’t mind open ended stories that leave a lot open to interpretation. I’ve written two incredibly long analyses on two games that did exactly that and expressed how much I enjoyed trying to decipher them. But Prometheus isn’t one of those stories where my imagination is set ablaze with possibilities. It’s one of those stories where I’m constantly baffled how seemingly everything, from the existential to the mundane, makes absolutely no fucking sense and I feel my intelligence is constantly being insulted every time I’m asked to buy into this shit. Prometheus certainly raised a lot of questions for me, but not the ones I wanted raised.

Fair warning, this will be an insanely long post. Ironic as I don’t hate this movie or actually care all that much about the Alien franchise. However, Prometheus has that rare blend of genuine potential and baffling awful decisions that makes for some truly epic bitching. I’ll be bitching myself senseless so if you don’t like long winded rants, you’d best just stop reading right now.

I dedicate the following essay of me whining about a movie I didn’t like to Red Letter Media, whose review of the Star Wars prequels inspired me to complain endlessly on the internet. (And if getting upset at Prometheus means I should “stop watching movies”, then so be it.)

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N0t Hyped: Real Heroes Firefighter (Wii)

“Is it hot in here, or am I just dying from heat exposure?”


It’s June 1st, which means May is over, which means indie month here at 0verhyped is over. Again, not sure why I ever felt the need to hold myself to an offhand suggestion that almost no one read because my readership is in the single digits, but whatever.

All though I feel all of the games I talk about in my N0t Hyped reviews don’t get enough attention, most of them are pretty well received by the traditional gaming community. Games like World of Goo and Braid are even amongst the best reviewed games on the systems they appear on, right next to oversold multimillion dollar bullshit that’s just a rehash of games from previous generations.

But then you got stuff like Fishing Resort, games that fill specific niches that get no respect because it doesn’t fit the narrow definition of a “hardcore game” or push the games as an art form angle. So in honor of ultra specific niche games that get no respect, I want to talk about Real Heroes: Firefighters, quite possibly the best Fire Fighting game ever made, largely because it is one of only a few Firefighting games ever made.

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Pointless Achievements: Party’s Over

This is a fitting name for this achievement.
Because any kind of fun is long over if you’re doing it.

I had originally planed to talk about the Kingpin achievement from Saint’s Row 2 today, but wouldn’t you know it, I just got a brand new fresh shipment of crushing disappointment yesterday that I’d like to bitch about instead.

Yesterday the (hopefully) final DLC Expansion for Batman: Arkham City was released, Harley Quinn’s Revenge. Unlike the last two “expansions”, which were just extra characters for the challenge maps that cost seven bucks each, Harley Quinn’s Revenge is supposed to be a continuation of the story. An actual adventure and not just an addition to the arcade style score attack gameplay the challenge rooms provide.

You’d think for a ten dollar add-on they’d have a couple of new and interesting tricks to show you for your money. Plus it was released seven months after the last expansion. So you’d think this might actually be something good, since they’ve been working on it so long. And it continues the story of Arkham City? That could be interesting.

But no, it’s just more of the same old crap. Beat up bad guys, go here, beat up guys, go here, The End. It’s like they needed one last add-on to justify selling a “Game of the Year” edition, which wouldn’t you know, they announced at the same time as this expansion. Nothing makes it more clear that this add-on was just made for financial reasons quite like the “Party’s Over” achievement.

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N0t Hyped: World of Goo (PC, Mac, iOS, Wii)

Come on, just a little more and we’ll hit the ionosphere!


Since I plan on talking about Braid all next week I guess I’ll just declare May indie month here at 0verhyped. Why the hell not? Nobody is reading this anyways. I could declare it aglet appreciation month and just repeatedly write about the North America Free Trade agreement, who the fuck would be here to notice the difference?

Anyways, World of Goo is a personal favorite game of mine. I just recently beat it again and it still managed to surprise me, partially because I was playing a new version and they added a few small things. But that aside, it is impressive how much is crammed into every little level of World of Goo.

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N0t Hyped: Chronotron (Flash)

Warning me about Paradoxes then asking me to create one? Yes.


I had planned on discussing Braid today. I talked about an indie game and time this week, why not finish with talking about an Indie game that involves time travel? But then I realized I really had too much to say to squeeze into one last post before the weekend. Then I thought I’d talk about World of Goo, another favorite indie puzzle game of mine. But I realized I’m in the middle of replaying it and didn’t want to write about it until I finish it again. So then I decided, how bout Chronotron? My third choice for indie puzzle game to talk about today, and hey, it involves time travel…

Look, it’s been a long week, work has been very tiring, I’m fairly depressed, and just desperately want to relax this weekend. So yeah, today I’m going to talk about a freebie flash game that I think deserves a little more credit. And I’m not going to talk a lot either, so this will probably be a short post. Not that anyone reads these anyways. But in the off chance someone is reading this, you can just click the picture up there to play Chronotron. All of it, you can play the whole game at Kongregate. If you want to hear my personal thoughts on it first, read on.

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N0t Hyped: VVVVVV (PC, Mac, 3DS)

Pretty cheery looking fellow considering all the killer spikes jutting out around him.


In celebration of the new found laziness only updating three days a week provides me (and the fact that I’m really busy at work and don’t have nearly as much time to write) let’s talk about a short indie game today. Or if you find me boring just click the picture up there and demo VVVVVV for yourself, what the fuck do you need me for?

Anyways, for everyone who didn’t immediately click that link, remember the Commodore 64? I don’t. Probably because I never owned one, but I’m sure some people do, people like Terry Cavanagh, who styled his game VVVVVV after games from the Commodore 64 and the bizarre things he wrote down in his dream journal.

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