0verhyped

Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Tag Archives: DS

My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation The Runners Up Edition

You can stick this right next to that little league trophy everyone got.

See, you’re not a loser, you just suck at winning.

A.K.A. EVERYTHING ELSE I FORGOT TO MENTION

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured blah blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit you get the damn point. I’m sick of that paragraph. I’ve been copying and pasting it all god damn month. Thankfully today is the last day in January and I can finally move on. But seeing as it still is January I feel bizarrely obligated to make one last post in this series. So today is for all the mild disappointments and modest surprises and a bunch of other crap I couldn’t cram into the last thirty days.

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My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Pleasant Surprise: The World Ends With You

Sorry Beat, but DS covers are a bit too tall for my blog's image format.

Well it certainly didn’t end in 2012. Stupid Mayans…

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s surprise is The World Ends With You, a surprisingly under appreciated game whose name is the end result of everything they wanted to name it being trademarked already.

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My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Big Disappointment: Rhythm Heaven

Or just bang your fucking head against the wall...

Are we sure this title is an accurate translation? Maybe paradise is Japanese for torturous hell.

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s disappointment is the brutally unforgiving Rhythm Heaven, a deceptively cute title that’s more like a condescending music teacher than a fun rhythm game.

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Recognizing Matthew Taranto

All following comics by Matthew Taranto. Go see more at brawlatthefamily.com.

A.K.A. MY COMPLIMENTS TO A TALENTED ARTIST

I’m a fairly cynical and bitter person. I complain and swear and whine about whatever bugs me and act like I know best, only occasionally undermining my own nonsense so I don’t get too full of myself. Basically I’m like most any other vocal gamer with an internet connection, in spite of the fact I’m not really a gamer anymore these days.

Self-righteous moaning and aggressive grand standing seem to be the norm with gamers. Or maybe that’s just the nature of the internet in general. Or maybe it’s part of human nature and the internet just makes it easier to notice. Or maybe I’m just so cynical that this is simply how I choose to see things, and I’m very wrong.

Either way, I’m a very skeptical person who puts a lot (probably too much) value on criticism, lengthy analyses that deconstruct things or just flat out nitpicking. I’m a pessimist, so I usually gravitate to things that are cynical in nature. It’s easier for me to relate to someone being critical and scathing then someone being optimistic and cheerful.

But I’m not dead inside (yet), and there are rare occasions when I find people with a sanguine approach to their art enduring, especially when said art is about a medium I’ve become so very jaded to. So that’s why today I wanted to write about Matthew Taranto and his adorable comic strip, Brawl in the Family, which I only discovered a couple of weeks ago.

And I’d like to analyze why I so like it so much. Since analyzing things is apparently all I can do, and because I’m still a cynical person, and as such, feel the need to explain myself anytime I actually admit to liking something…

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Great Things From E3 (That Never Actually Happened)

Available Soon*

A.K.A. A LOT OF SHIT DEMOED AT E3 NEVER EVEN SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY

So E3 is in full swing this week, or half swing since it’s Tuesday, or something. Whatever, E3’s is happening at the time of writing this post. If you’re not familiar with E3, it’s the big electronic gaming expo that happens every Summer in Los Angeles. Companies roll out their next couple of years worth of crap in the form of demos and trailers and other shit.

Gamers sit around their computers waiting for each and every announcement as they watch drawn out tedious presentations. I’ve actually seen at least one person claim to take a day off from work so they could watch the E3 live coverage, and there was even a young couple who refused to leave an E3 showing even after one them started GOING INTO LABOR! But hey, they got to see a teaser for Skyrim shortly before it was placed on the internet where the whole would could see it, that’s worth risking you and your newborn’s health right?

Anyone with half a brain stem would just wait a day, or just an hour for every gaming site out there to put up detailed list of every significant announcement, likely complete with links to more in-depth articles not present at the time of the announcements. That’s what those people at E3 are there for, to report the news. It’s a press event, but gamers want to pretend it’s the Super Bowl.

And like the Super Bowl, it often ends in crushing disappointment after enduring hours of mind numbing boredom.

Game companies don’t really seem to go out of their way to discourage that behavior, probably because they like the attention. But I mind. I hate pompous pageantry and mindless spectacles being used to pad out mundane announcements and confuse the audience. Worst yet, this corporate dick measuring parade causes gaming companies to stuff their presentations with vague promises and undeveloped concepts that never materialize.

Trust me when I say you shouldn’t get too excited for E3. If the reality of the stuff they demo doesn’t disappoint you, then it probably doesn’t exist, literally.

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How Microsoft Hijacked A Generation

If you can’t just buy out the competition, you can still rip them off.

A.K.A. WHY I DON’T LIKE MICROSOFT

Come the end of this week, I’ll be taking an incredibly long hiatus from 0verhyped, but more on that later. For now I want to talk about Microsoft and how in a lot ways they basically did “win” this console generation, despite never selling the most consoles or really inventing anything all that new or different.

Microsoft has never had the best reputation. Even by giant conglomerate standards they tend to be less well liked than other companies who invade your privacy, sell you defective shit and rip you off for every little thing. But over the last few years they have seemed to harbor at least some good will with gamers with the XBOX 360. What with their “amazing” online service and the “high” standards they set for games or something.

But not me. Oh no, definitely not me. Mostly because I’m a grouchy prick who feels compelled to piss on everyone else’s good times. I tend to do that, as old men filled with bitter regret often do. But I have my reasons, which I’m more than happy to share, even when there’s no one around to share them with.

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N0t Hyped: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors (Nintendo DS)

Disclaimer: This is NOT the official game of the Herman Cain 999 Tax Plan.

Class, put your books away and get out a sheet of loose leaf paper, it’s time for a pop quiz. Please copy, then solve, the following equation. What is Saw plus Cube, Multiplied by Lost, Plus the Square Root of Titanic, Minus a Decent Budget, Divided by Point and Click Adventure Game? Or, as expressed in mathematical terms:

Did you answer “spectacularly entertaining train wreck of a game”? That’s a logical conclusion, but incorrect. The correct answer is “surprisingly enticing and intelligent novel”. You must have forgot to factor for good writing. Don’t feel bad though, factoring for good writing is almost never used in these kinds of equations, so this was almost a trick question in a way. Don’t worry if you’re confused, I plan to show my work on how I reached this answer. But do try to keep up though, there will be a test later.

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N0t Hyped: Retro Game Challenge (Nintendo DS)

To the 1980’s and beyond!

Remember the 80’s? I sure don’t, but I played a lot of games from the 80’s during the 90’s. So I’ve got a soft spot for the old 8-bit gaming generation. Retro Game Challenge strives to snuggle up with those rose tinted memories and make you feel all kinds of fuzzy. That make any sense? No? Lemme just start over.

Retro Game Challenge is a small collection of original games modeled in the same manner of 8-bit games of yesteryear. You’ve got a pair of arcade shooters called Cosmic Gate and Star Prince. Rally King, a top down racer. An old school RPG called Guadia Quest (complete with murderous difficulty). And a series called Haggleman, which starts as a basic action platformer and later transforms into a cinematic (for the day) action game for the final installment. All in all, a reputable palette of retro gaming styles. The surprising part is what makes their sum greater than their parts.

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