0verhyped

Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Tag Archives: EA

My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Pleasant Surprise: The Beatles Rock Band

Rock and roll all night! ...what? I'm not obliged to make Beatles references. =P

(Insert obligatory Beatles reference here!)

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. My final surprise for this series is The Beatles: Rock Band, the rock band game born out of a cooperative effort between Harmonix and the Beatles’ music studio, Apple Corps.

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My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Pleasant Surprise: Boom Blox

"Go head. Make my day."

Forearms at the ready!

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s surprise is Boom Blox, the simple yet surprisingly entertaining puzzle game that has Steven Spielberg’s name on the case.

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My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Big Disappointment: Mass Effect

You see that guy's face? In the middle. Well, that was basically the reaction I had playing this nonsense.

Anytime something gets stuck up its own ass too much, I just call that the Mass Effect in action.

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s disappointment is Mass Effect, the first in Bio-Ware’s supposed epic Sci-Fi trilogy which really did nothing for me except lead me to believe that Knights of the Old Republic may have just been a fluke.

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Pointless Achievements: Rock Portal Scissors


Rock PORTAL Scissors?
That’s not even a fucking pun!

What, you thought I was done complaining about Portal 2? Nope, I’ve got more to bitch about, because that’s just the kind of pompous windbag I am. I didn’t talk about the achievements in Portal 2 in my last post because achievements are usually pointless and I just wanted to focus on the actual game.

But then I remembered I have a whole segment just for pointless achievements. So I guess I can complain about the achievements in Portal 2 and have a separate post just talking about the game without achievements. It’s like having my cake, and eating it too… Hmm, felt like I was suppose to say something else there for a moment, oh well.

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My Problem With Portals

What key makes me fist your mechanical ass long enough that you understand I never want to see a loathsome sack of shit such as yourself ever again!

A.K.A. WHY ARE CREATIVE IDEAS CONSTANTLY SMOTHERED WITH MEDIOCRITY?

Back to my normal swearing bitter ass self this week, complete with me angrily pissing on other things people like because I’m old and joyless so I feel compelled to constantly explain why I’m so miserable with everything in the world.

Speaking of which, I didn’t like Portal, and I don’t like Portal 2, which I recently discovered. And the disappointing thing is I really wanted to like these games. The portal concept present in both games is ingenious, and opens itself up to a lot of brilliant possibilities.

But neither game really explores those possibilities all that much. Instead it merely flirts with them just long enough to acknowledge there are possibilities, then fills the gaps between these mere mentions of better things with the same mediocre paste used to pad out every modern game. The same paste I’ve been sick of swallowing for years.

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Arguing Against DRM

You buy it, you own it? What a novel concept.

A.K.A. WHY I FIND DRM-LESS DIGITAL SHOPPING SO FREEING

So I originally wanted to talk about Good Old Games (gog.com) today but I ended up writing all about DRM, Piracy and other digital rights related topics instead. All though I like gog.com for several reasons, it turns out the complete lack of digital rights management software is the biggest reason.

I found out about this website after looking around for somewhere other than Steam to buy the original Fallout and Fallout 2. There is a retail collection of old Fallouts, but even though it’s cheap I usually don’t feel confident buying old PC games due to compatibility issues. So I kinda preferred the digital option in this case.

That’s where GoG.com came in, just one of the many things I like that I only seemed to discover by dumb chance and something I wanted to talk about on the internet because I apparently don’t have anything better to do with my time. But then I ended up writing a piece about DRM and piracy I general, so I guess this post is now about that instead.

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Great Things From E3 (That Never Actually Happened)

Available Soon*

A.K.A. A LOT OF SHIT DEMOED AT E3 NEVER EVEN SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY

So E3 is in full swing this week, or half swing since it’s Tuesday, or something. Whatever, E3’s is happening at the time of writing this post. If you’re not familiar with E3, it’s the big electronic gaming expo that happens every Summer in Los Angeles. Companies roll out their next couple of years worth of crap in the form of demos and trailers and other shit.

Gamers sit around their computers waiting for each and every announcement as they watch drawn out tedious presentations. I’ve actually seen at least one person claim to take a day off from work so they could watch the E3 live coverage, and there was even a young couple who refused to leave an E3 showing even after one them started GOING INTO LABOR! But hey, they got to see a teaser for Skyrim shortly before it was placed on the internet where the whole would could see it, that’s worth risking you and your newborn’s health right?

Anyone with half a brain stem would just wait a day, or just an hour for every gaming site out there to put up detailed list of every significant announcement, likely complete with links to more in-depth articles not present at the time of the announcements. That’s what those people at E3 are there for, to report the news. It’s a press event, but gamers want to pretend it’s the Super Bowl.

And like the Super Bowl, it often ends in crushing disappointment after enduring hours of mind numbing boredom.

Game companies don’t really seem to go out of their way to discourage that behavior, probably because they like the attention. But I mind. I hate pompous pageantry and mindless spectacles being used to pad out mundane announcements and confuse the audience. Worst yet, this corporate dick measuring parade causes gaming companies to stuff their presentations with vague promises and undeveloped concepts that never materialize.

Trust me when I say you shouldn’t get too excited for E3. If the reality of the stuff they demo doesn’t disappoint you, then it probably doesn’t exist, literally.

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How Microsoft Hijacked A Generation

If you can’t just buy out the competition, you can still rip them off.

A.K.A. WHY I DON’T LIKE MICROSOFT

Come the end of this week, I’ll be taking an incredibly long hiatus from 0verhyped, but more on that later. For now I want to talk about Microsoft and how in a lot ways they basically did “win” this console generation, despite never selling the most consoles or really inventing anything all that new or different.

Microsoft has never had the best reputation. Even by giant conglomerate standards they tend to be less well liked than other companies who invade your privacy, sell you defective shit and rip you off for every little thing. But over the last few years they have seemed to harbor at least some good will with gamers with the XBOX 360. What with their “amazing” online service and the “high” standards they set for games or something.

But not me. Oh no, definitely not me. Mostly because I’m a grouchy prick who feels compelled to piss on everyone else’s good times. I tend to do that, as old men filled with bitter regret often do. But I have my reasons, which I’m more than happy to share, even when there’s no one around to share them with.

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Pointless Achievements: The Bladder of Steel Award


Need to use the bathroom? Or just want to take a break?
Well too fucking bad! Because you’re not going anywhere!

What is it with me and the Rock Band series? I don’t think there’s even been a game series that I both genuinely love and utterly despise more at the same time. Part of it is I’m just an ill-tempered idiot with obsessive compulsive tendencies and poor self-control. But I still can’t help think that Harmonix are just kinda sadistic assholes as well.

It seems like every Rock Band game comes with a shitload of a dumb arbitrary goals that require mechanical like precision on cheap plastic instruments. The first Rock Band had a terrible drum controller, but they still expected you to fairly accurately duplicate intense drum beats like Run to the Hills. I remember there being a lot of posts about how to jury rig the drums to stop counting extra notes you didn’t hit and how to make the pedal stronger.

It’s pretty fucked up they put goals into the game that the crappy fake instruments they sell you can just barely handle. I know they’re just one company trying to make a buck, so they can’t really afford to make exceptional midi instruments and still sell us to them at a reasonable price. But they surely could have eased the fuck up on some of their actual goals they stick in the game. It’s a fucking game where you pretend you’re Rock Stars in front of your TV with plastic instruments and a USB microphone. Why such brutal achievements?

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Discussing Collector’s Editions, Pre-Order Bonuses, And Other Crap

Not Included: Guarantee Of Actual Limited Availability, Coping Methods For Buyer’s Remorse, A Better Game

A.K.A. EXPLORING YET ANOTHER RUSE COMPANIES USE TO TRICK PEOPLE INTO BUYING THINGS

I’ve always found collector’s editions a little weird. Just the name “collector’s edition” seems odd, like this is something just made to torment OCD collectaholics such as myself. It’s not a “special” edition or even necessarily a “limited” edition, it’s a collector’s edition. You don’t see many collector’s editions for things other than modern video games.

I know there are movies, books and CD’s out there that come in collector’s editions, but they’re usually rereleases of classic or already well liked things. And when they’re not, it’s usually for over marketed crap like Transformers 3. With games it seems like every big budget title gets a collector’s edition at launch these days. And this seems to be a recent trend. Last generation a collector’s edition game was fairly uncommon, and usually only happened after the game was proven to be a success.

Also pre-order bonuses seem to be a bigger trend this generation as well. Last generation the only pre-order bonus I remember was if you pre-ordered The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, you’d get a second disc with every other Zelda game that ever appeared on a home console (minus the CDi ones which we are never to speak of). Now every game seems to have something you can only get from pre-ordering at GameStop, and if don’t you’ll lose it forever, or something.

So why the sudden upswing in all this collectible and limited time offer crap? Maybe it’s a sign of just how much more popular games have gotten in the last few years. But I’m a bitter old coot, so I think all this collectible super special limited time pre-order only nonsense is just another ploy companies use to prey on their customers’ compulsive tendencies to make more money.

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