0verhyped

Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Tag Archives: fucking stupid

My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Big Disappointment: The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword

Yeah, great, shame your enemies all know how to block the damn skyward sword at all times.

Keep slashing fairy boy, hopefully one of them will actually be in the direction you wanted.

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. My final disappointment for this series is The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, the latest major installment in the Zelda franchise and probably one of the few I’ve ever regretted buying.

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My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Big Disappointment: Red Dead Redemption

Please, just shoot me.

Again, zzzzzzzzzz…

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s disappointment is Red Dead Redemption, a.k.a. Grand Theft Auto: Old West Edition.

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My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Big Disappointment: Grand Theft Auto IV

Zzzzzzzzz......

Zzzzzzzzz……

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s disappointment is Grand Theft Auto IV, the supposed game of the century that was closer to letdown of the generation for me.

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Pointless Achievements: Pointless Achievement


Wow…Just, just not even trying anymore?
Just flat out telling people what a waste this is.

Yeah, this one is actually just called “Pointless Achievement”. I’d actually forgotten I had ever even earned this one, that’s how pointless it is. Pointless Achievement is from the one, and only, downloadable expansion to Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. It unlocks when you enter the new area from the expansion. That’s it. There’s nothing else to say.

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Great Things From E3 (That Never Actually Happened)

Available Soon*

A.K.A. A LOT OF SHIT DEMOED AT E3 NEVER EVEN SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY

So E3 is in full swing this week, or half swing since it’s Tuesday, or something. Whatever, E3’s is happening at the time of writing this post. If you’re not familiar with E3, it’s the big electronic gaming expo that happens every Summer in Los Angeles. Companies roll out their next couple of years worth of crap in the form of demos and trailers and other shit.

Gamers sit around their computers waiting for each and every announcement as they watch drawn out tedious presentations. I’ve actually seen at least one person claim to take a day off from work so they could watch the E3 live coverage, and there was even a young couple who refused to leave an E3 showing even after one them started GOING INTO LABOR! But hey, they got to see a teaser for Skyrim shortly before it was placed on the internet where the whole would could see it, that’s worth risking you and your newborn’s health right?

Anyone with half a brain stem would just wait a day, or just an hour for every gaming site out there to put up detailed list of every significant announcement, likely complete with links to more in-depth articles not present at the time of the announcements. That’s what those people at E3 are there for, to report the news. It’s a press event, but gamers want to pretend it’s the Super Bowl.

And like the Super Bowl, it often ends in crushing disappointment after enduring hours of mind numbing boredom.

Game companies don’t really seem to go out of their way to discourage that behavior, probably because they like the attention. But I mind. I hate pompous pageantry and mindless spectacles being used to pad out mundane announcements and confuse the audience. Worst yet, this corporate dick measuring parade causes gaming companies to stuff their presentations with vague promises and undeveloped concepts that never materialize.

Trust me when I say you shouldn’t get too excited for E3. If the reality of the stuff they demo doesn’t disappoint you, then it probably doesn’t exist, literally.

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How Microsoft Hijacked A Generation

If you can’t just buy out the competition, you can still rip them off.

A.K.A. WHY I DON’T LIKE MICROSOFT

Come the end of this week, I’ll be taking an incredibly long hiatus from 0verhyped, but more on that later. For now I want to talk about Microsoft and how in a lot ways they basically did “win” this console generation, despite never selling the most consoles or really inventing anything all that new or different.

Microsoft has never had the best reputation. Even by giant conglomerate standards they tend to be less well liked than other companies who invade your privacy, sell you defective shit and rip you off for every little thing. But over the last few years they have seemed to harbor at least some good will with gamers with the XBOX 360. What with their “amazing” online service and the “high” standards they set for games or something.

But not me. Oh no, definitely not me. Mostly because I’m a grouchy prick who feels compelled to piss on everyone else’s good times. I tend to do that, as old men filled with bitter regret often do. But I have my reasons, which I’m more than happy to share, even when there’s no one around to share them with.

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Pointless Achievements: Party’s Over


This is a fitting name for this achievement.
Because any kind of fun is long over if you’re doing it.

I had originally planed to talk about the Kingpin achievement from Saint’s Row 2 today, but wouldn’t you know it, I just got a brand new fresh shipment of crushing disappointment yesterday that I’d like to bitch about instead.

Yesterday the (hopefully) final DLC Expansion for Batman: Arkham City was released, Harley Quinn’s Revenge. Unlike the last two “expansions”, which were just extra characters for the challenge maps that cost seven bucks each, Harley Quinn’s Revenge is supposed to be a continuation of the story. An actual adventure and not just an addition to the arcade style score attack gameplay the challenge rooms provide.

You’d think for a ten dollar add-on they’d have a couple of new and interesting tricks to show you for your money. Plus it was released seven months after the last expansion. So you’d think this might actually be something good, since they’ve been working on it so long. And it continues the story of Arkham City? That could be interesting.

But no, it’s just more of the same old crap. Beat up bad guys, go here, beat up guys, go here, The End. It’s like they needed one last add-on to justify selling a “Game of the Year” edition, which wouldn’t you know, they announced at the same time as this expansion. Nothing makes it more clear that this add-on was just made for financial reasons quite like the “Party’s Over” achievement.

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Pointless Achievements: The Bladder of Steel Award


Need to use the bathroom? Or just want to take a break?
Well too fucking bad! Because you’re not going anywhere!

What is it with me and the Rock Band series? I don’t think there’s even been a game series that I both genuinely love and utterly despise more at the same time. Part of it is I’m just an ill-tempered idiot with obsessive compulsive tendencies and poor self-control. But I still can’t help think that Harmonix are just kinda sadistic assholes as well.

It seems like every Rock Band game comes with a shitload of a dumb arbitrary goals that require mechanical like precision on cheap plastic instruments. The first Rock Band had a terrible drum controller, but they still expected you to fairly accurately duplicate intense drum beats like Run to the Hills. I remember there being a lot of posts about how to jury rig the drums to stop counting extra notes you didn’t hit and how to make the pedal stronger.

It’s pretty fucked up they put goals into the game that the crappy fake instruments they sell you can just barely handle. I know they’re just one company trying to make a buck, so they can’t really afford to make exceptional midi instruments and still sell us to them at a reasonable price. But they surely could have eased the fuck up on some of their actual goals they stick in the game. It’s a fucking game where you pretend you’re Rock Stars in front of your TV with plastic instruments and a USB microphone. Why such brutal achievements?

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Pointless Achievements: Speed Run


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So continuing my discussion on Braid, let’s talk about the single most fucking annoying achievement in the game. The not at all creatively named Speed Run. Once you beat Braid you have an option to try certain segments with a timer in an attempt to speed run them. And the one segment you need to beat for this achievement is THE ENTIRE FUCKING GAME!

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Pointless Achievements: Kayak Master


What’s that? You find Fishing Resort way too calm and relaxing?
Well then, just try a kayak race and watch your blood pressure soar!

In case you hadn’t heard, Fishing Resort is possibly the greatest fishing game ever made, and just a good game in general. It can also be really relaxing at times. What with scenic surroundings and the mellow vibe it gives off. I even thought of holding a contest to give away a copy of Fishing Resort. Then I remembered almost nobody visits this site.

But even with its laid back gameplay, Fishing Resort isn’t above tedious goals with only a razor thin margin of error, nor am I above pursuing such pointless goals even though I really really should know better by this point.

Fishing Resort has achievements, or accomplishments, or whatever the hell you want to call them. All though a lot of them are a pain in the ass, they usually have something to do with fishing. Not the case with Kayak Master, which takes what should have been a simple diversion and turns it into a tortuous ordeal.

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