Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.

Tag Archives: Portal Boring

My Biggest Surprises and Disappointments of the Last Gaming Generation Big Disappointment: Portal


This image really does capture my excitement for this series…

Seeing as we’re in a new year and possibly a new gaming generation, I figured now is a good time to look back on what games from the last few years really defied my expectations. Either because they went above and beyond what I was expecting of them or because they were horrible letdowns that made me feel stupid for buying them. Today’s disappointment is Portal, an apparent slice of gaming perfection that I found annoying and somewhat dull.

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My Problem With Portals

What key makes me fist your mechanical ass long enough that you understand I never want to see a loathsome sack of shit such as yourself ever again!


Back to my normal swearing bitter ass self this week, complete with me angrily pissing on other things people like because I’m old and joyless so I feel compelled to constantly explain why I’m so miserable with everything in the world.

Speaking of which, I didn’t like Portal, and I don’t like Portal 2, which I recently discovered. And the disappointing thing is I really wanted to like these games. The portal concept present in both games is ingenious, and opens itself up to a lot of brilliant possibilities.

But neither game really explores those possibilities all that much. Instead it merely flirts with them just long enough to acknowledge there are possibilities, then fills the gaps between these mere mentions of better things with the same mediocre paste used to pad out every modern game. The same paste I’ve been sick of swallowing for years.

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